Lent Day 1 - Embracing Humilty

Beware of practicing your piety before men in order to be seen by them; for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. 

Matthew 6:1

This morning I sluggishly got out of bed after a restless night and opened my phone to look at my outlook calendar. So many meetings, an interview, class I had yet to read for, and all these other things I wanted to do, but with only around 14 hours to do them all. I had already slept in too late to go to the morning workout at my gym so disappointment was my first emotion of the day. But I knew that it may have been worth it since I would've probably been late to 8am Mass if I had gone to workout. 

I wanted to take a running start to Lent this year. So even though I was upset about my inconsistent workout schedule, I got up quickly got ready for Mass walked across campus to the chapel. I was ready. Let's go. So pumped. I did not eat or drink anything, and pre-planned my meal and snack-meals the night before. Mass was quick and painless (our priest likes to be efficient early in the mornings). After Mass I knelt down and began my first 30 minute pray time of Lent. I read the day's scripture reading in my She Who Believed Journal (the gospel for today) and reflected on it as a stepping stone to Lent. 

In Matthew 6, Jesus tells to remain humble, and many of our devotions, priests, and mentors will tell us to pray with humility. The definition of humility is "a modest or low view of one's own importance". So how do we pray humbly? We pray with the intent to give glory to God, and we pray knowing that we are sinners searching for redemption. We also must live humbly as Christians. We should not go around "sounding the trumpets" like is said in Matthew, because our relationship with God, and our Lenten journeys are our personal faith. We cannot be boastful in prayer, because that is not what God wants (see Matthew 6:5). He wants us to take time with Him alone, and give ourselves to Him. 

My Lenten journey and time is precious to me, and I am hoping to learn more about God in the next 40 days, while also offering up all my struggles, and inviting people to join me in that journey (in their own way of course). How is your first day of Lent going? 

Lent 2018

I remembered Lent as a young girl as the time when I gave up potato chips, and we couldn't get meat lovers pizza on Friday nights after soccer practice. Growing up in the Catholic church and at a Catholic school made walking around with ashes on my forehead as being very normal, and no one ever questioned what was on my forehead.

Lent was simple for me as a young girl. When I went into college it was still simple, since I went to a Catholic college, but I was still challenged because many of my close friends and peers were not Catholic and I did not have someone to really keep me accountable on what I 'gave up' that year.

And that was the kicker. I was just 'giving stuff up' because that's what I thought I was supposed to do. I knew Jesus fasted for 40 days in the desert and that is what we were supposed to represent through Lent, but I never dug deeper into the importance of fasting. I knew Lent was important, I knew that this was a time that I should be growing closer to God, but I just never did.

It wasn't until a couple of months ago after a young adults talk that I went to when Lent's purpose and fasting's purpose truly made sense to me. I remember driving home that night and thinking about what I had previously given up for Lent and what I would give up this year. I then remembered that my fiancé had gave up meat last year, and that I told him he was insane because he lived off of chicken and quinoa. But then I also remember that he constantly told me that every time he wanted chicken he offered that desire up to God. And that's when it clicked. The reason I was giving something up was to offer something that I had taken for granted or gotten so used to that I had to ask God for help when I desired it. By doing this I know that I can grow closer to God during Lent because I will be talking with God more and asking for His help to continue fasting through the 40 days.

During this Lent I am committing to fasting from drink other water and black coffee (since I get horrible migraines from low caffeine levels) and bread. I am also committing to spend 30 minutes in prayer ever day. For part of that prayer time I am going to be utilizing Blessed Is She Lenten Devotional, and posting about my thoughts, perspectives, and struggles through Lent on my blog as part of my accountability.

I'm looking forward to this Lent and growing closer to God during this journey. I am hoping that sharing my story and my experiences will not only hold me accountable, but will also invite others into this Lenten journey with me and grow closer to God through the Bible, temptations, and Mary.

Motivation - Luke 1:45

Luke 1:45

Blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord. 

When Mary was a young girl she was asked to complete a near impossible task. An angel came to her and said that she would have a child by the Holy Spirit, out of wedlock, as a young girl, and *cherry on the top* that he would save the world. However frightening, Mary believed in this angel's words, and she believe in God and His plan for her life. 

After that day, Mary's life changed forever. She married a chaste man named Joseph and he protected her and her son, Jesus, for his entire life. Mary had to trust in God every second of everyday to keep her and her baby safe. Then, Mary had to endure the crucifix of her only child. She had to watch Him suffer for the world's sins. Mary gave her life, her son, to God. 

Mary's strength and trust in God is my true motivation. Everyday. I wake up in the morning and sometimes I go straight into my daily routine of getting ready for work, checking my email, feeding my pup, and finding something to wear. It's days like today when I need extra motivation to work and even love myself. I walked into a popular athletic wear store today and looked at myself in the mirror, then I glanced around at the other young and old women shopping for leggings, shorts, and crop tops. I began to hate myself. I hid in a corner while I waited for my sister to finish looking around. 

As I reflect on my afternoon, I wonder about where these thoughts of hatred and discomfort come from. Yes the devil, of course, but do I let him come into my mind like that? Do I give him an opportunity to invade my mind with negative thoughts because I am not taking care of body as well as I could be? 

Today I need motivation to change. To stop hating myself, and move on from my old ways of thinking so negatively about myself. Mary will motivate me. Mary's trust in God will help me trust that God has a plan for me to be healthy, and one day I will believe that I am Blessed like Mary herself.